Forgiveness

A while ago in church we had a message on forgiveness.  I am a believer in forgiveness because I know how VERY much I have been forgiven.

While I was listening (I really was), the Lord impressed these three things on my heart.

1. Unforgiveness steals your time.
2. Unforgiveness steals your peace.
3. Unforgiveness steals your freedom.

I look at my kids and I realize how quick they were to forgive when they were little (like my Cynthia).  It seems as though time and life teach a different message.  A message that if you forgive, you are just asking to be hurt more.  And, in reality, there is a bit of truth in that.  It blessed my heart to hear pastor teach that forgiveness and trust and reconciliation are all VERY different things.

I chose quite a while ago to be a person who forgives. Every painful situation gives you the opportunity to be bitter or better. I have seen bitter and it ain't pretty. So, I want desperately to choose better.  I have had my share of hurts.  And I still have my fair share of people that I do not TRUST under any circumstance, but that I have forgiven.

I have those that I am still choosing daily to forgive.

It is a choice when that feeling comes up - you know the one... the one where you see them when you weren't expecting it, and not very nice thoughts come into your mind.  Or, you are thinking about a situation from the past - and all the anger and resentment start to build back up... yep, those are God's little flags to tell you, you are still in process and need to continue to choose to forgive.

Lately I have been struggling with this more than normal. I don't know if it is because in general, I am just busier than I should be. I am not taking the moments to write, to read and to sit still and just BE. All of those things can make for a crowded mind. But, I am certain God is wanting to set me free from some heavy weights that He didn't put on me. He desires that I walk in peace and freedom of heart and mind. I don't even know what it looks like, but I am certain that forgiveness is included in the package I will be giving away. Hopefully I can get every bitter root pulled and replaced with gratitude - that would be a great victory! It seems a daunting task - and yet, I know that any time I enter into a "yes, God" moment I am entering something sweet (and often hard) and so so good.

I have many more thoughts, but am running out of time to put them on paper. I will revisit this topic. But, I want to leave you with this.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't set boundaries.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you allow abuse.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you trust that person again.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation of the relationship.

Forgiveness does bring peace to your heart.
Forgiveness gives you back time that you used to spend building anger and resentments. 
Forgiveness gives you freedom to walk unburdened of added pain.
Forgiveness sets your mind and heart free from unnecessary anxiety.

If choosing to forgive something/someone feels too hard, start small. Tell God you want to choose to forgive. Ask Him for grace upon grace to keep asking for a forgiving heart. Ask God to help you pray for your enemy (whoever wronged you). Ask God to help release you from the enemy who (through unforgiveness) is trying to steal your peace.

At the end of the day, forgiveness has precious little to do with the person that wronged you and much to do with your own soundness of mind and peace in your heart. Pull out the bitterness, and replace the empty spot with gratitude for what God is doing and will continue to do as you grow in forgiveness. Only God can heal the wounds that are deep within. But, I promise He is able.

Peace and rest to you friends, thanks for stopping by.
~ Christy