Forgiveness

A while ago in church we had a message on forgiveness.  I am a believer in forgiveness because I know how VERY much I have been forgiven.

While I was listening (I really was), the Lord impressed these three things on my heart.

1. Unforgiveness steals your time.
2. Unforgiveness steals your peace.
3. Unforgiveness steals your freedom.

I look at my kids and I realize how quick they were to forgive when they were little (like my Cynthia).  It seems as though time and life teach a different message.  A message that if you forgive, you are just asking to be hurt more.  And, in reality, there is a bit of truth in that.  It blessed my heart to hear pastor teach that forgiveness and trust and reconciliation are all VERY different things.

I chose quite a while ago to be a person who forgives. Every painful situation gives you the opportunity to be bitter or better. I have seen bitter and it ain't pretty. So, I want desperately to choose better.  I have had my share of hurts.  And I still have my fair share of people that I do not TRUST under any circumstance, but that I have forgiven.

I have those that I am still choosing daily to forgive.

It is a choice when that feeling comes up - you know the one... the one where you see them when you weren't expecting it, and not very nice thoughts come into your mind.  Or, you are thinking about a situation from the past - and all the anger and resentment start to build back up... yep, those are God's little flags to tell you, you are still in process and need to continue to choose to forgive.

Lately I have been struggling with this more than normal. I don't know if it is because in general, I am just busier than I should be. I am not taking the moments to write, to read and to sit still and just BE. All of those things can make for a crowded mind. But, I am certain God is wanting to set me free from some heavy weights that He didn't put on me. He desires that I walk in peace and freedom of heart and mind. I don't even know what it looks like, but I am certain that forgiveness is included in the package I will be giving away. Hopefully I can get every bitter root pulled and replaced with gratitude - that would be a great victory! It seems a daunting task - and yet, I know that any time I enter into a "yes, God" moment I am entering something sweet (and often hard) and so so good.

I have many more thoughts, but am running out of time to put them on paper. I will revisit this topic. But, I want to leave you with this.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't set boundaries.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you allow abuse.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that you trust that person again.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation of the relationship.

Forgiveness does bring peace to your heart.
Forgiveness gives you back time that you used to spend building anger and resentments. 
Forgiveness gives you freedom to walk unburdened of added pain.
Forgiveness sets your mind and heart free from unnecessary anxiety.

If choosing to forgive something/someone feels too hard, start small. Tell God you want to choose to forgive. Ask Him for grace upon grace to keep asking for a forgiving heart. Ask God to help you pray for your enemy (whoever wronged you). Ask God to help release you from the enemy who (through unforgiveness) is trying to steal your peace.

At the end of the day, forgiveness has precious little to do with the person that wronged you and much to do with your own soundness of mind and peace in your heart. Pull out the bitterness, and replace the empty spot with gratitude for what God is doing and will continue to do as you grow in forgiveness. Only God can heal the wounds that are deep within. But, I promise He is able.

Peace and rest to you friends, thanks for stopping by.
~ Christy

thoughts on hope

Today I have thought of a thousand things. Actually more I would imagine. I am contemplating the things in life that are true of this day.

People have been born today. People who will be great and people who will seem to lead lives of insignificance.
People have died today. Families are grieving and life as it was will never again be.
People are celebrating anniversaries, and people are mourning losses from years past.
People are achieving great success in business and others are losing everything.

It reminds me of Ecclesiastes (and by weird association, the movie, Footloose).
There is a time for everything under Heaven. Today your time may look different than mine. In fact, it is quite likely that it looks differently.

But there is one thing that is constant. For this day, this minute, this year and for all times past and forevermore, God loves. He does not change. He is the only thing constant in this ever-changing world. He carries the seasons, both in nature and in our lives. He carries Truth and Justice and Love - perfectly. He is not off balance or fickle. He is utterly other-than. Holy and full of grace.

Today I have thought a lot about HOPE. Everyone needs hope. Everyone.
This month and this week particularly, I need hope. But, I need hope with a capital J.
We spend most days avoiding pain in every way we can. We want to do good on our quiz, have a productive day at work, leave a good impression... we want to celebrate and enjoy and have fun. We bristle at the thought of hard days. Days when all of the things just don't go well. The days when we feel sick, or we just look yucky, or we are overwhelmed by everyone's demands over us. Those days don't end screaming - there is hope! They end with a sigh and a "good riddance" in our hearts. But true hope is found only in Jesus. Today we talked about Jesus a great deal. He is actually one of my favorite persons of interest. This God-man who left eternity and everything good to join us in the depravity of life on earth fascinates me. This one who we sing about - conquering death and giving us victory over sin and the grave. Some days I find it easier to believe that He conquered the grave more easily than I can wrap my mind around the fact that He finished sin in me. He forever paid my debt and took on my shame. My shame. What kind of a man would do this? What kind of a Father would volunteer His baby Son to live that life?

"For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son. That whosever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."  John 3:16 

For some reason today those words grab me in a new way - and I am so thankful. I have known that verse by memory since I was 4. I have believed that verse with my whole heart since I was 4. But, today, it makes my mind full of wonder.

Jesus conquered death. Those songs that speak of "O death, where is your sting?" I believe them - and on some days I can sing them loudly from the depths of my soul. But some days I feel so deeply the sting that death has left in my heart- and I forget that life eternal is real. I forget that the God-man paid the ultimate price so that my momma and my son would not have to know the sting of death. They only know the peace of life eternal. And, that brings me hope. Eternity is well, forever. So, though this life is filled with pain and tears and loss and death, I know that eternity is coming. And when it gets here - with all of its renewal and restoration - it will be better than anything I could've asked for or imagined.

Eternity feels so distant - and yet - it is only a breath away. Just a blink and a minute and all of life as we know it will cease to be. It's a staggering thought, really.

Live this day as if it were to be your last. Treat people like they are dealing with something bigger than you know, because they likely are. Love well and say kind things often. And, when you are short on hope, take a moment to be still and ask for the reality of eternity to take root in your heart, mind and soul.

Thanks for stopping by.
~ Christy