December with Candice...

So the last week of my life has made me the most grateful lady in the world I think. It has been just unbelievable. So many people know how much my heart ached for a real relationship with our birthmom, Candice. She is so beautiful, and she needs to know how loved she is - from someone whose opinion is not gonna change based on what she can do for them. She is an amazing lady. The short and skinny of it is that she called me last week. She is ready to begin her new life - a life that is lead following the Lord and loving her babies enough to keep out of trouble. I have had the privilege of spending lots of good time with her this week. She has gotten to see Mia and hold her and love her... And we have gotten the opportunity to talk about so much! I couldn’t be more appreciative of our ABUNDANT God! I could never have even imagined the things that are happening in order to ask for them... Thus the verse, “abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine!” How true that is in my life!

There are many things that are precious to my heart about it all. She called me on Mia’s first birthday! What a beautiful day that was! Then, she came to Mia and Jude’s party on Saturday. She was there for Mia’s first birthday party!! Wow, God! Just - wow! We have gone and spent time getting her set up to be a responsible mommy! For those of you who don’t know, Candice is pregnant and due February 4^th, 2010. It has been my privilege to help her and to know her. We have laughed together. We have talked about everything you could imagine! We have spent time together with Mia, and time together without her. She has made me laugh so much!

When we started talking she told me such a funny story! She was talking with some of her friends and told them that I had come to see her. When she told them about me she said, “My baby momma came to see me today!” I love it! It is my favorite new title. The girls all laughed, but she said, “No, really, that is who she is. She is my baby’s momma.” Precious to my heart! I can’t tell you how many times she has handed Mia back to me and said, “She wants you, she wants her Momma.” It is just such a sweet, sweet place to be. I can’t express how much I love this girl! Please continue to pray for her. Life is not going to get easier from here. I know the enemy will want to kill, steal and destroy her. He can’t stand the freedom she is gaining. She is reading her Bible daily, she is praying for faith, and asking that all of my friends pray that she would have faith. She is really keeping a clear mind. Please pray that she will continue to have wisdom and strength to make the right decisions. Please pray that the enemy will not deceive her, but that she will continue to be protected and guided by our Merciful, Beautiful God! Wow! What a sweet, sweet Christmas gift for me. God is so good. He is so loving. He is so Sovereign. What a Loving Creator! Thanks for celebrating with me, and thank you for praying for her. She is just beautiful! If you want to know more of the details, you can send me an email, or call me for coffee. I love this story. This is Mia’s story. This is a precious time in our lives. And even if it all changes tomorrow... God has been so sweet to give us today, and yesterday, and the day before. Wow. I am just amazed at Him.

What a Journey!

Today was an incredible day. Again, a long time prayer was answered. A prayer that began before my daughter was even born. I prayed that our birthmother would be involved in her life. I prayed that we could have a relationship that was good - and that it wouldn’t just be one way communication. And today, I received a 9 page handwritten letter from Candice. I am still just in awe of the Lord. I do not know His ways, or His thoughts, but I am getting more and more familiar with His character. I am so glad that I have an eternity to press in and know Him more. He is so loving and merciful and beautiful. He is faithful and able to move mountains. He is Almighty, a Loving Creator and so Sovereign. I am beginning to see His heart towards me as I see His heart towards our birthmom. It is incredible really. What a privilege to be a part of her life. What a blessing to read these pages - each one affirming how the Lord is hearing me. Each one affirming how she is receiving the love that is in my heart towards her. What a gift. She drew Mia a picture for her birthday. It is beautiful. She is so talented. She is so child-like in so many ways... Good ways. And she has a story that will move the hearts of many one day. I believe Jesus will use her testimony to draw thousands to Himself. He is so amazing. Every word, every thought she expressed was so sweet to my heart. She quoted scripture. She talked about reading her Bible and crying each time she received one of my letters. She said I always make her cry. Isn’t that the way God is though? When He speaks truth to us that the devil has long fought to keep from us, don’t we cry as we hear it? Don’t we yearn to hear how He loves us and will NEVER leave us? I do. I need to know that there is nothing that I can do to keep Him from loving me. Nothing. It was precious to me that this morning I was reminded in Galatians about how we can’t live under the law - the law is death and by trying to please God with my behavior, I am costing myself Life. Galatians 2:19 says, “For when I tried to keep the law, it condemned me. So, I died to the law- I stopped trying to meet all its requirements - so that I might live for God.” I died to the law so that I might live for God. How I love that! What bondage we stay in because we forget that we have to die to the law in order to really live for God. Whew. Still processing that, but it is Truth and it is just so sweet to my heart. I am about to write her again and I will be praising the Lord with every word I type. She has a good future... A hope and a future. Of this, I am sure. Please continue to pray for her. She asked me to tell all my friends to pray. Wow. Precious. So, please pray for her to continue to have faith. Pray that she will be able to achieve the things that she longs for. She wants a family. She wants a real life. She is human. She longs to be loved, and married, and have children that she can raise on her own. Pray that the enemy will no longer have a hold in her life. Pray that she will break free of his lies and his bondage, and that she will receive the life that is hers in Christ. What a journey this life is. What a beautiful, hard, devastating, wonderful journey.