What is normal anyway?

This morning as I woke up I thought it would be a normal day.

As I got out of bed I prayed for a friend of mine with physical pain in her body – pain that I know nothing about, but that the Lord is gracious to remind me of.

As I took a shower, I prayed for other friends. Friends that are fighting this fight of living life right! Friends that have real hurts and needs and struggles and strongholds. I contemplated the things in life that we think are so easy, or think about so flippantly. But, things that are heavy on the Lord’s heart. Trials that we dismiss thinking they are only for other people, or think so highly of ourselves that we are somehow immune to the pain that comes with them.

As I got ready and got breakfast ready I was weak and wanted to sit down. I wanted to rest – I wanted someone to fill my cup and prepare my food. (Psalm 23:5 “You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.)

I pushed through and went up the stairs to wake my boys. Oh little one, you are cold because you have had an accident. Let’s get a bath. My big strong man of a boy – get up love, the day awaits for you…

Then my girl, my precious sleepy girl… you have had a great night! You are dry and so beautiful in your sleepiness…

As we sat down and read Psalm 7 we talked about the refuge that our God is. Oh, our God… don’t seem so far off… We are desperate to KNOW you. Why don’t we know you…

And then as they all left for school, a heaviness settled in. Not a heaviness from the enemy that is oppressive and unyielding, but a sadness seemingly from the Lord Himself. Oh, what my Savior? Why does your heart hurt this morning? And could you really want me to share the pain with you?

Oh, I believe He does want us to know that He is a God who feels. He is a God that is Almighty and All-Powerful, and yet has a heart that is grieved by His adulteress people. (Genesis 6:6 NLT, “So the Lord was sorry he had ever made then and put them on the earth. It broke his heart.”) But, He seeks one who will feel with Him and be righteous, and wholly devoted to Him. (2 Chron. 16:9, “The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are wholly committed to Him.” (Genesis 6:8 “But Noah found favor with the Lord.”)

As I read and listen to people sing of God’s love and mercy and beauty, a song plays in my ears.

“Oh capture me again, revive what seems so dim. Restore first love’s fire - my heart’s desire. I see the Beauty of Your Goodness, but I settle for something much less. Your gentle whisper, Your Presence so sweet will I walk away or sit at Your feet, Oh Jesus please break through, I don’t want to miss this moment with You…”

Reflections on Joshua

Has God ever given you an assignment that you knew was from Him? Did it seem bigger than anything that you could handle on your own? Did you immediately start doubting that it was indeed the Lord who was calling you to the task? Did you set out – in small faith, or big - and soon after your feet slipped out from under you and you doubted the whole thing was ever really from the Lord? I am often surprised how we skip over small words in the Bible. Words that would bring freedom if we would look at them a little longer. I was reading Joshua. Just the first part of the first chapter. No extensive reading, just asking the Lord to show me all the scripture that He wanted me to meditate on. I tend to read chapters and chapters and find so much encouragement. However, I think the motto for right now is slow down. Sit and read a small amount and reflect on my Word, my Truth and my Goodness. So, Joshua it was this morning. Anyway, I noticed that God told him, “I am with you just as I was with Moses, my servant. I won’t leave you, or abandon you – and here is my command – be strong and courageous. It was a command. He had even told him how to stand strong. He said to meditate on the book of His commands. He gave him the answers before the test, and Joshua still failed. Test #1 – be strong and courageous – I have already given you every place you will set your feet.
So, then Joshua goes to the leaders, the officers of Israel, and he commands them to get ready to go. They tell him “Yes, we will do whatever you command us, and we will go where you send us…So be strong and courageous.” Isn’t that something? At this point, he didn’t even have resistance from his top leaders. They said, we know you are in charge and we are ready to follow – by the way – be strong and courageous, just as God said. I always kind-of imagined that Joshua was pulled aside by some of the leaders, and at their urging, he sent out spies. But, according to Joshua 2:1 – Joshua sent out the spies secretly. It was as if the enemy started whispering to him as soon as he went to the leaders and told him he was foolish – or could it have been the Lord who sent him on this mission- a mission with a purpose. We do know it was very soon after he met with the leaders because the spies stayed in the hills for three days. That was the same amount of time that Joshua had told the leaders that he would have to prepare to go to battle. So, it really seems like he met with the leaders and then went straight to the spies and said “go”.
Now, there are obvious implications from this act, and we aren’t certain if it was doubt that caused him to send out the spies, or if it was an act of obedience to something God said to him that wasn’t recorded in scripture. The severe implications from this act, whether obedience to God, or in disobedience, is that Rahab and her family are saved. Rahab was the mother of Boaz. Boaz was in the line of Jesus. So, obviously, it was in God’s great plan to save Rahab. We cannot possibly fathom God’s Sovereignty. And scripture uses the word “secretly”, which means it was a hidden act. Though we don’t know for certain if Joshua’s act was an act of doubt, or if God came back to him and told him to send the spies, we know that in disobedience, or in obedience God is still the God of all things. Of course God could have spared Rahab in a different way. She was even commended in the famous “Hebrews Hall of Faith” for her act of faith towards the spies. So, if Joshua was in sin for sending out the spies, it shows that God can take our mess-ups, or sin, and our doubt and turn it for His own Glory. We are not big enough to thwart God’s plans. We only miss out on the blessings of obedience when we choose to disobey and doubt. There is still so much to think about and read and consider. But, I am just going to camp here for a little while and ask God to help us hear His voice. Father, help us to run from the voice of the enemy and to recognize your voice alone. Protect us from doubt and fear. Help us to be strong and courageous – as you have given us great and precious promises as well. You are a good God. Help us to recognize that all the time.

Family Update... School has begun!

All three of my precious kiddos are in school now! Wow! What a fun time this is for our family! Jake is doing so well in intermediate school. He rides his bike to school everyday and has a routine for his homework. He is making wonderful grades, and I couldn't be more proud of the way he is keeping his things organized. Praise the Lord! He is really growing up. If you don't believe me, just call him sometime and talk to him for a minute on the phone. He sounds so grown! He is showing me this year that he is really very capable of keeping up with assignments and turning stuff in on time. He is also such a help to me at the house. He helps me so much. I never dreamed that he could take so much off of me - but he does every day! He officially has an extra hour of awake time after his brother and sister have to go to bed. He needs it most days just to finsih up homework and have a little down time. What a blessing he is to his Momma and Daddy!
Then there is my Maddy-Bella. Oh she is indeed a beauty! She is taking her new challenges and running with them! Her Spanish teacher this year ONLY speaks in spanish! Talk about full submersion! She is doing great! Yesterday she said, "Mommy, I wrote in Spanish in my draft book today!" I am so proud of her and excited for the opportunites that will come in her life from this program! My favorite thing that is going on in her life right now is the way that she is listening to God. She hears His voice and it is so encouraging to this momma! Please ask me about this if you want to know more. I promise it will be an encouragement to you to. It has really made me want to have a more child-like faith. I want to feel conviction as quickly as she does. I don't want a hard heart - and I see the ways that God is protecting her from that. Wow! She is a delight to my heart and my spirit. What a breath of fresh air!
And last, but not in any way less than my first two, there is Jared. Oh what a joy! I asked him what his favorite part of his first day of school was, and he quickly said, "the whole thing!" He is feeling so grown up, and loving his school. He is going to learn so much about being a big kid this year. That is a little hard on me, but he is no longer a baby, and it shows. He is so precious. I am so proud of him! The first day of school he also said, "Hey Mommy, there is a girl in my class - in a yellow dress - and she doesn't love God." I said, "Oh, were you talking about God today in school." His response, "No ma-am". So, I said, "Oh. Well, how do you know that she doesn't love God?" After much talking, I am still not certain how it all came about, but he and another little boy were telling her she was rude because she doesn't love God. Oh boy! I had to explain that if they ever wanted her to love God, they had better stop telling her that she is rude and start loving on her. It was such a hoot! Yeah that he is already talking about God - one way or the other. Ha!