Scattered every which way....

I'm gonna try to be brief... but I don't know if that is possible...  :)

Growing up as a tiny girl we were part of a fellowship that was amazing.  We were a tiny little fellowship... and we loved each other well.  We ate together, studied the Scriptures together.  We were there for each other.  We loved God, and we loved each other.  How dear to me are those who were part of Word of Life Bible Church in Southlake, TX.

As an adult, or almost an adult... a wife and a mommy, but only 21 - Ken and I found a fellowship of our own.  It was the closest thing to Acts 42 I had experienced since I was 8 years old.
And now, 14 years later, we are part of another amazing fellowship of believers who know what it is to love God and love each other.

We are a forever family.  We hurt each other, and we comfort each other.  We love each other well.  We pray for each other.  We know what it means to mourn together and rejoice together.  The common denominator is that in each fellowship, we all loved God, and we all loved each other.  We gave as anyone had need - and we lived in community.

All along the way, I developed friends who I love dearly who were just starting college... and then, just finishing college... and then just moving away, some getting married... some just having their first baby...  some moving to other countries...

It has been a whirlwind when I think about it.  But, I realize that tiny pieces of my heart are scattered across 3 continents (at least) and all over the US.  I love so many people that sometimes it really just hurts.  My heart aches because I miss "my"girls.  But, then there are friends that have known me - the real me for a long time - some ten, fifteen and even twenty or thirty (!) years.  I think I could type for an hour straight and not get all the names down of the people who are dear to me that my heart longs to see and spend time with.  And then there are people that I almost got to know, but I want to know more.... who I am not sure I will get to know much better this side of Heaven.  Which makes me feel like I have a million holes in my heart - pieces of my heart are scattered all over the place.   But, did you notice the phrase "this side of Heaven"?
God is so sweet to remind me that these friends are my forever friends.  Not just because we have bonded well here on earth, but because we are bound by the blood of Christ and will be forever together in eternity.  We are sisters now and forever.  This life is a mist.  One day - and in a short time - in the blink of an eye... we will all be together for eternity.  No tears.  No separation.  No pain.  No sin.  No boundary of time.  We will be forever together worshiping a Holy and Righteous and Beautiful God - and bowing before the One who was given the Name above every Name - at which every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord!
Hallelujah!  I am ready to have a party.  I love my family.  I love my friends.  But, I am about ready for our forever celebration where we come to know what it means to dwell in glory... our God given, untainted glory.  Whew!

It is almost Christmas.  It is time to celebrate the birth of a baby who came to change the World.  It is time to celebrate the Christ-child.  The Messiah.

It is no wonder that the dragon - that tempter, Satan was standing wanting to devour Him even as a baby... because with His birth came the certain destruction of that proud, beautiful angel - Lucifer who was cast out of Heaven.  (Revelation 12 paints an amazing picture of all of this).   The night Jesus was born, a great war broke out.  Real war - and though we do not yet see it with our eyes... that war is still raging.  I am so thankful that I know the end of the story.  I am so thankful I know the One who wrote the story, and the One who came to give me life - and freedom from that fierce dragon.  I am so thankful for each of my friends that have a piece of my heart - because we are a forever family.  We will get to rejoice in the Lord always - and again I say REJOICE!!! 

So, this Christmas, I am spending some time thanking God for each of you by name.  Each one of my forever friends - I am praying a blessing over you even now.  And for each of you that don't know my Jesus - who are skeptical of all of this "religious" stuff.  I am praying a special prayer for you.  I am praying that you will come to know my Jesus for yourself.  It has nothing to do with religion, and everything to do with a relationship.  A relationship with the One who will never abandon me, or forsake me.  A relationship with the One who let His blood be spilled so that mine wouldn't have to be.  The One who came to die - because it was the only way that we could know God - for ourselves, without separation.  The One who the angels worshiped and the wise men sought out.  This Jesus.  If you let Him, He will change your whole life.  Yes, tonight, I am saying a special prayer for you, my sweet skeptical friend.  He loves even you.  Even when you curse Him and doubt Him.  He will never quit pursuing your heart.  He loves you far too much for that. 

Merry Christmas. 

Shaking the dust off your feet...

Tonight I am wondering how much longer it will be before things are right-side up. 

I wish I had more answers than I have.

God is good.  He is ever faithful.  He continues to provide and to look out for us.  Things are still messy though.  Messy is okay, but it is, well.... not ideal. 

I am asking tonight for wisdom.  God has granted that before to people who have asked.  Part of me wishes to ask him for enough money to dig out of this seemingly endless hole.  But, the larger part wants to know what He would do if He were in my place.  What would Jesus do, for real?  I don't know.  I pray that He will help me to know.  I pray that He will show me soon.  I don't have more to say really, though there is much more swirling in my mind. 

I had to process a little out loud... but now, I am going to go talk with Jesus.  I am hoping that as I tell Him who He is, He will remind me of His character.  Truth is, He was perfect and therefore would not be in the predicament I am in.  But, He has the right answer for me any way.   I am going to ask you to pray wisdom for me too.  I am going to ask that you would cry out to the Lord and ask Him to reveal Himself.  He is the God who sees.  He is the God who knows what we need before the word is even on our lips.  He is the God who is never caught off guard and who will never forsake us. 

Broken Vessels for God's Use ~ my labor of love.

Friends!

Finally, it is ready.  If you would like to read my book - it is available for purchase at www.brokenvesselsforgod.com.  Just click on the picture of the book.  My amazing husband set that up for me.  :)

At some moments, I thought it would never be fully ready, but I think it is relatively safe to say - it is now!  Every time I pick it up and look at the cover, I am filled with thankfulness to my sweet Savior who allowed me the time to do it and who rescued me from circumstances that were dreadful!  I am hoping and praying this book will minister to people even half as much as it has already ministered to me.  It is a constant reminder to me that He is a God who not only gives us passions and dreams, but is also pleased to see them come to fruition.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He removed me from a difficult working situation where I was neglecting my family and missing out on the purposes He created me for so that I could do one of the things He has given me passion for.
I have never been so sure that He has created us all for a purpose.  He has called us each to something of significance.  Even if it only appears significant in the eyes of God.  It isn't about how impopular the book is, or how popular it might become.  To me it is about an act of obedience in an area that was actually easy to obey - in fact the more I put my hand to it, the more my heart fell in love with Jesus.  It was about reveling in the beauty of my God who would allow me the time and opportunity to do what He had set in my heart.  The blessings have already been given - the time in His Word to write it and research.  The time learning the lessons that are within the pages of the book.  The amazing teachers I have had and friends I have made along the journey.  These are the things that matter.  Yet, if I hear that the book blesses somebody else, I may very well just go up to be with Jesus my heart might be so full!

Anyway, I am thankful and I am blessed to be here in this moment, working a job that I love more than any job I have ever had.  Being a mommy to my children who are a blessing to me daily.  And continuing to learn that God intends good for me for all of my life - no matter how strongly the enemy comes against that.  I am so very thankful for this time.  I am so very thankful for my God who is always Faithful.

Broken Vessels for God's Use ~ my labor of love.

Friends! 

Finally, it is ready.  If you would like to read my book - it is available for purchase at www.brokenvesselsforgod.com.  Just click on the picture of the book.  My amazing husband set that up for me.  :)

At some moments, I thought it would never be fully ready, but I think it is relatively safe to say - it is now!  Every time I pick it up and look at the cover, I am filled with thankfulness to my sweet Savior who allowed me the time to do it and who rescued me from circumstances that were dreadful!  I am hoping and praying this book will minister to people even half as much as it has already ministered to me.  It is a constant reminder to me that He is a God who not only gives us passions and dreams, but is also pleased to see them come to fruition.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He removed me from a difficult working situation where I was neglecting my family and missing out on the purposes He created me for so that I could do one of the things He has given me passion for. 
I have never been so sure that He has created us all for a purpose.  He has called us each to something of significance.  Even if it only appears significant in the eyes of God.  It isn't about how impopular the book is, or how popular it might become.  To me it is about an act of obedience in an area that was actually easy to obey - in fact the more I put my hand to it, the more my heart fell in love with Jesus.  It was about reveling in the beauty of my God who would allow me the time and opportunity to do what He had set in my heart.  The blessings have already been given - the time in His Word to write it and research.  The time learning the lessons that are within the pages of the book.  The amazing teachers I have had and friends I have made along the journey.  These are the things that matter.  Yet, if I hear that the book blesses somebody else, I may very well just go up to be with Jesus my heart might be so full! 

Anyway, I am thankful and I am blessed to be here in this moment, working a job that I love more than any job I have ever had.  Being a mommy to my children who are a blessing to me daily.  And continuing to learn that God intends good for me for all of my life - no matter how strongly the enemy comes against that.  I am so very thankful for this time.  I am so very thankful for my God who is always Faithful.