Streams of Living Water

My heart is so full.

My soul is completely satisfied.  As with the richest of foods.

My heart rejoices in Your salvation, my God. 

In Your presence there is fullness of joy. 

My heart is saying again and again, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.  My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.” Psalm 28:7

Today, I can rejoice, with a soft heart, a refreshed and renewed spirit within me.  Because of His great love for me, I am not consumed.  God worked through no less than 6 families to bring me safely to Kansas City.  I had no way to get here on my own, but I knew with all of my heart that I had to come to the prayer room.  As always, He has spoken His Word and His truth over my heart, confirming that which He had already placed in my heart, but renewing my spirit within me.  Giving me peace that passes any understanding.  Bestowing upon me grace upon grace to stand and say that I am His.  I will walk whatever way He desires, no matter what the cost because He is so worthy! 

He is worthy.  Oh, beloved, I beg you to press into Him.  Come to know this man Jesus who loved you to the point of death.  He gave it all up because He is crazy about you.  He came down from Heaven - the most glorious place - because we needed Him.  You must come to know Him.  Don’t settle for hearing about Him.  Don’t settle for thinking you know Him on Sundays.  Press in to really know Him - read His Word of Life, the Bible.  Give Him your time and your affections.  He will not mishandle them.  He is faithful.  He is good.  He is able to be trusted.  He is deserving of all praise!  Psalm 54:4, “Surely God is my help; the Lord is the One who sustains me.”

I am so thankful for my friends who helped me come here and be refreshed.  I thank you for your prayers, for your gifts of gas money, the beautiful place to stay, the prayer covering as I have been here, and your gift of a vehicle with exceptional gas mileage!!  May God bless you with blessings upon blessings for being the very heart of Christ towards me during this time of great need!  Truly, I say to you my heart can now say, “You gave abundant showers, O God; you refreshed your weary inheritance.” Psalm 68:9.
 
I am stunned each day I am here as He has made it so personal to me during this time of worship and rest.  My mom told me many years ago that my life verse is Psalm 63:8 , “My soul clings to you, your right hand upholds me.”  It is set in the midst of one of my very favorite Psalms.  Yesterday and today in the morning the “worship in the Word” was through Psalm 63.  I am telling you He is reminding me that I am His beloved.  I am His favorite.  :)  And, Beloved friends, you are too.  Oh how I wish I could make that a reality in your mind.  He is crazy about you.  He delights in you.  He still thinks you were worth the cross!! 

He is revealing to me over and over that He is jealous for me and He wants to destroy everything in my heart that hinders love.  He will go to any lengths to make me fully His and He will do the same for you. 

I will leave you with these things that are foremost in my mind and some beautiful words of Truth:

To everyone who will hear,  Jesus says this, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” 

I have been so thirsty, that I forgot the streams of living water were already flowing from within me.  But, He has been gracious and reminded me that He has been with me, and helping me all along.  What a sweet God.  What a merciful Savior.

Psalm 57:1-3 “Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge.  I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed.  I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me.  He sends from Heaven and saves me, rebuking those who hotly pursue me; God sends His love and His faithfulness.”

Psalm 59:16-17, “But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.  O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.”

Psalm 63:3 “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you, and I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.”

Psalm 86:8-10 “Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours.  All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name.  For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.”

Indeed, there is but One God, and indeed there is but One who saves.  And, He stands ready to rescue you from all of your troubles, if you should only declare in your heart and with your mouth that you need Him.  He will hear you, and He will receive you, and He will help you.

A call to repentence - the need for a response

I was privileged to get to go with a few beautiful friends of mine to Reliant Stadium this past Saturday.  I believe that I was there for an 'event' that is sure to change the course of history.
There was no political mumbo jumbo.
It was made quite clear - repeatedly, that no person was to receive glory that day.
The clapping and praising and crying out was to but One man - this God-man who is called Jesus.

Indeed, we stood to our feet when Dr. James (and Shirley) Dobson came out.  It was a moment I'll not forget.  It was beautiful to see with my eyes these precious souls who have poured out their lives for the One that matters.  It was not that we desired to give them praise, but an overwhelming feeling of thanks was rising in my heart to the One who predestined them to be captured in their hearts by Jesus.

There was no fear in uttering the name of Jesus.  Of course, we were crying out to God, but we were lifting high the Name above all names.  It was beautiful.  We also sang "America".  The beauty of coming together and singing of how God shed His grace on us, as Americans was something indeed.  We take it for granted every day.  This country is not great because of the great men who have led us.  This country is great because of the Great God who poured out His grace to those men. 

We began with worship.  We sang of the worth and beauty of Jesus Christ and we stood together proclaiming His grace and mercy.  After that, was a solemn time.  A time where we were led to reflect on our own personal sin - and repent for that before a Holy God.  It was a time of ownership.  It was not a time of blame, or a place where guilt was cast upon others.  It was a time to acknowledge our fault - accept our responsibility as the church for allowing our nation to come to this place in history.

Dr. Dobson recounted the time in history where the German army was coming against the British and French armies in the 1940's.  The Church of England called for a time of prayer and fasting.  3 days later, God answered their cries and the armies were saved.  God hears us when we humble ourselves and cry out to Him.

It was humbling to stand and think of how far we are from acknowledging our need for Him each day.  We have become altogether too self sufficient, only, we are not sufficient in ourselves at all.  Thus, the debt and the lack of family unity and the current state of our nation.  This drought can be ended by one word uttered from the mouth of God.  That is fact.  But, beloved friends, He LOVES US TOO MUCH to let us continue in the mindset that we are enough in and of ourselves!  We need Him.  We must cry out to Him alone for help.  The time for trusting in our 401k and our great "plans" is over.  Those financial things will not bring rain to the earth! (sorry, I digress...)
To get to the point here, I will give you the format and try to be brief in my elaboration :)
The four main prayer segments were this:  Personal Repentance.  Corporate Repentance.  The First Commandment.  And in closing, Prayer for Revival in America.
It was beautiful as the older generation stood and blessed the younger generation - and then in turn, the younger generation stood and blessed the older generation.  Staggering to see a small boy (maybe 9 or 10) stand and pray with conviction for his generation to rise up and call on the Lord.  My eyes could not contain the tears as he prayed.  The thought that Jesus was up there at that moment - hearing him - and loving him - solidified something deep in my heart.  God hears us when we pray.  God delights in His children and He will not fall silent when we come before Him in humility and ask Him to help.  He delights in us, beloved, and He made us to delight in Him.
There are many other things that took place in that place.  I was blessed that in my inability to get to the prayer room in Kansas City, God saw fit to bring a piece of it to me (and the other 30,000 people who were there).  It was just what my soul needed.  Brokenness.  Repentance.  Accountability.  Realization of our need.  Confidence in our Maker.  I know that the heart of the living God was moved.  I know He heard us, and I am continuing to pray that the hearts of the people will be turned back to Him.  I saw it in myself even as we were only 30 minutes down the road...  The tendency towards forgetting all that we had just confessed before the Father.  The tendency to look towards the next thing in my day, and my week.  God allowed me to see how quickly I forget.  So, I am asking Him not to let me forget.  Every cloud I see in the sky makes me believe that He is about to send the rain.  And, with that, I am asking that He would also reign over this great nation with His mighty power once again.
It is time.  Jesus, please come with mercy.

My trip to Kansas City...

So, the question of the hour seems to be “How was your trip?”

If only I had words to describe just how it was. It was beautiful. It was devastating. It was full of affirmation and hope… it was full of pain and disappointment. My heart was stirred to know Jesus in such a deeper way. My heart is ruined for this earth. I cannot enjoy the things that I used to without aching for the “more” that I know is there. I had forgotten that I was His beloved again. I knew it with all of my head, but I felt it with none of my heart. For years – literally- all I have known is what is already in my mind – truth about the Lord. I lost the “feeling” of worship many years ago. I have a quiet peace with it now. Thought it ruined me in the beginning. When I stand in worship – there is no feeling of the presence of the Lord. When I pray on my face before the Lord, there is no feeling of His presence. I KNOW He is there. It is not a question. He is with me always, every moment. I used to say my heart feels dead - broken. It does. Things that I think should make me cry – don’t. And things that never broke my heart before do. But, the greatest thing – the biggest truth is that God’s Word is true. He will never leave me, He will never abandon me. He is with me in every place, through every season. Whether I feel it or not. God does not lie.
I saw men and women (young and quite old – American, Asian, Indian…) worshipping before the Lord with all of their might. I thought of David. I thought of Michal. My heart aches for those I know who have worshipped like that and are now sidelined by the enemy. I grieved… and I grieved. My heart aches for those who have never known worship like that…unashamed – really. I know the image of that 50-something, 4 foot 11 tall Asian man jumping before the Lord in worship will never leave my mind. It brought rivers of tears from my eyes. Do we not think that we will dance before the Lord in Heaven? Why do we run from His love? Why do we not embrace how He pursues us? His heart grieves over those who refuse to understand the depth of His heart toward them. For those who continue in their own way – even without direction from His voice, because of their desires to please men. Don’t they know that was the way of King Saul?
I was devastated to look at all of the ways I pursue my own interests when He is only interested in how well I am loving Him, and as a result, loving others. I am realizing how much – though I know it isn’t true in my mind – I still feel like I have to work to gain His favor. I am learning to rest in Him again. To rest in His perfect love of my imperfect love. It is sweet.
My heart was grieved to realize how many blessings and promises we are missing out on because we have placed our magnificent God in a box. A box labeled “RELIGION”. A box for the Pharisees who cannot grasp that there is no way to gain the favor of a holy God. Even the most well meaning of us have become Pharisees to some degree. We have taken hold of the lesser and are blindly groping for abundance. It doesn’t fit in the box. Abundance beckons us to come outside the box.
I may be talking like I am out of my mind. I am really. I am slipping into a place of security in my Savior that I have missed for a long time. I am resting as He confirms things to my heart. I am listening as He speaks in the smallest whisper. He is talking to me again. He was only quiet to test my heart. In my mind, I didn’t pass… praise God that in His – I did. He sees my heart – and that is what is important to Him… my heart. Like David, He is seeking after the inside of me, not the outside of me. Praise Him that He looks at the inward appearance, and not the outward like man does. Oh, if we could just get a hold of that for real!
I am coming out of the desert… like the Shulamite in Song of Solomon whose friends said, “Who is this sweeping in from the desert, leaning on her lover?” Yes, Jesus… I am leaning on you, and it is sweetness. So, that is how my trip was. There are many more things. My precious baby literally said, “Abba.” My heart lept. He was sleeping, soundly, and there was a cry from the pulpit, “Who of you will be a forerunner for this generation?” and I kid you not, his baby arm went flying into the air. The cry came a second time, and a second time his arms (both of them this time) went flying into the air. Would you believe me if I told you it happened more than twice. It doesn’t matter if you do or not, it is true. I know he was born to worship Jesus in a time of trial and devastation. He will lead men to worship before the Lord unashamedly. I am certain of this in my heart.
I prayed for my children like never before and understood my role to prepare them for the times that are coming. Do not get me wrong, no one knows when the “end times” will begin. The judgements of God, and the rage of Satan. But, I know that we are to prepare them for it as if it will happen in their time. So that they can prepare their children – who if it is that far away can pass it on to the next generation. It is time to fear the Lord. It is time to recognize Him as a God who will bring Justice to the earth… and He will bring His judgments. Do we not remember the plagues? Do we think that He is less powerful now than He was then? I submit to you that He isn’t. My God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. My God is the Almighty God.
There is much more, but I am afraid that I will run out of room to write! Praise God for the trip. Praise God from whom all blessings flow… Praise Him all creatures here below… Oh He is an amazing God! Praise God that my alabaster box is enough! Let the fragrance arise!

IHOP

So, I went to IHOP – no, not to eat pancakes… the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, Missouri. I think for the first time in my life I sat still before the Lord. I didn’t ask Him for anything really. I didn’t hear Him speak to me – per se. But, the Lord was gracious to me. He taught me that sitting before Him and just loving Him and knowing that He loves me is enough - and it was BEAUTIFUL. I praise Him for that time. My children loved the time there as well. And I miss the coffee at “Higher Grounds” a lot! Yum… oh it was delicious! Ryan and Jenny Couch were my gracious hosts and they loved on my children and my children loved on them. That was also beautiful! We saw our friends Elizabeth and Charlton. It was a great time. It was a time I will never forget. Praise the Lord for stillness, quiet and the prayer room. He is a good and giving God.